WWMD

Today may be the 8th anniversary of mom’s death, but it still feels like she passed away moments ago. 

The excruciating pain and debilitating sorrow haven’t ever gone away for me, but over time, I’ve found ways to manage them better as I go about my daily life. It’s easier on some days, and like today, it’s harder on others.

Goofing around with Mommy and Bonnie in Vancouver BC (2000)

I miss receiving regular phone calls from her about the latest family gossip, musings from her daily life or complaints about my dad. I miss watching her cook (and eating her food!), entertaining family and friends with stories, and her playing with my cousins’ kids. I miss her boisterous laughter, but yet calming presence. 

She was full of wisdom and foresight, as well as curiosity and optimism. She believed that life should be lived happily and fully, and not let self-doubt be a hindrance.

She was my voice of reason and self-motivation (and mischief too!) as I navigated through school, romance, jobs, and all other facets of my life. She was my rock. No, she was rather my BOULDER, as she kept me grounded and provided me the strength I needed.

While I can’t physically hear her voice anymore, I still hear her in my heart. Especially during challenging times, mental impasses or unexpected forks in life’s road, I’d ask myself, “What would Mommy do?”

More often than not, I’d hear her respond with, “船到橋頭自然直.” 

The literal translation of this Chinese idiom is, “The ship will straighten its own course when it comes before a bridge.” The subtle meaning, however, is, “Don’t worry too much as everything will eventually works itself out.”

This may sound like a passive approach to problem solving, but if you coupled this with my mom’s abundance energy and compassion, she’s really saying, “Follow your heart and do what needs to be done. Don’t let your worries keep you from moving forward. Everything will work out as it should.” 

Mommy and I at Universal Buddhist Temple in Vancouver BC. (2000)

With these words of wisdom from my mom, I encourage my family and friends to do what needs to be done to protect our own well-being and those who can’t protect themselves in the ways we feel most comfortable—especially during this combative and chaotic time in our nation and in the global community. This can be done by rallying with other supporters, writing letters to our elected officials or voicing our own opinion among our own social circles.

However you choose to approach these challenging times and life in general though, it’s always best to follow your moral compass as Karma is a bitch. (Yes, my mom believed in Karma too!)