For the first time in my life, at age 35, I have no clue about what I
want.
My teachers taught me early to have long term goals, and I listened. Since
I was age 12, I’ve set my sights on graduating from college, having a career, getting
married, being a good mother to two kids, growing old with the love of my life
and then dying in peace. I always knew what I wanted to do in my life. But as my marriage flew out the window, so
did those plans.
These days, I lay in bed asking myself what do I want, what do I want
do, where do I want to be, what do I want achieve. And at times, I even
question who I am anymore. I feel like a plastic bag drifting in the wind, with
no direction and no purpose. This restless feeling feels so strange, unfamiliar
and uncomfortable.
During these uncertain times, I remember my mom even more and wonder
what she would say. I believe she’d advise me to take care of myself, open my
mind, don’t worry so much and just enjoy the ride. As my mom always knew best, I guess that’s
just what I’ll do for now.
If you have any advice or suggestions, feel free to share!
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