Well, technically, I'm not in Seattle, but close enough. And I am sleepless nevertheless!
Most people know I'm a planner. With the need to constantly plan, worrying naturally comes with it. While I love surprises (the good ones, of course), I like to be prepared. One of the motto I live by is the traditional proverb, "Hope for the best and prepare for the worst." And lately, I've been hoping, preparing, planning and worrying a lot.
I was laid off in mid-July (technically, on August 1) from Waggener Edstrom, a communications agency where I was planning to be long term. Immediately afterward, I've been thinking a lot about the next chapter in my professional and personal life.
I've been looking for jobs in the Portland and Seattle area markets, hoping to expand the pool of opportunities. If I land a comparable offer in both, which one should I choose?
This is the ideal time to move back to Portland, where most of my family (immediate and extended) lives. It will be much easier to celebrate birthdays, gather during the holidays, and spend time in general with family. And if I were to have my own kids in the near future, it would be nice to have them grow up surrounded by all the love and craziness that only family can offer.
If I choose Portland, what I am going to do with my house? Can I afford to pay both mortgage and rent? Or should I live with my dad until my house is rented out? What will happen to Gabe's photography and event production opportunities? How is the move going to impact our marriage? Will I even like living in Portland now as an adult?
On the flip side, I love my life here in the Puget Sound, where I've lived for the past 12 years. I have a great group of close friends. I've built a strong professional network. I've invested so much of my time (and money) into the development and growth of the local communities. I just love Seattle and the Puget Sound and all of its eccentricities.
If I choose Seattle, am I being selfish? Am I abandoning my sister to take care of my dad on her own? Will I grow distant from my family?
Yes, there are a lot more questions around picking up and moving back to Portland, and Seattle appears to the easy choice. Nevertheless, I'm torn between fulfilling my family obligation and sharing in the responsibility of taking care of my able, but aging dad, in Portland AND continuing to live the good life in Seattle.
Honestly, if my mom was still alive, I would move back to Portland without question. Because my mom was where home was. Now, I need to make my own home. Should it be in Portland or Seattle?
Comments
Whatever your choice is, don't have to feel guilty about it. I'm sure your family see that you're happy, they'll be happy too!
Of course, I would love to see you move back, but that would be selfish on my part :-)
I would move up there if I had a chance, but we're stuck here (because of family).